Why Don't Choir Members Get Paid?...Everyone Else Does!

The instrumentalists get paid.  The preacher gets paid.  Heck! Even the janitorial staff gets paid, so why not the choir members?  Do they not have skill?  Do they not put in work (often after work)? Why the double standard?

Back in the day

As a kid, joining the youth choir was one of the driving forces to accepting Christ as my Savior.  Yes, I wanted to affirm my belief in Jesus Christ.  And no, I didn't want to go to hell.  But week after week, seeing my peers jam in the choir stand also motivated me to take that critical step toward salvation.  So once I came of age, I did just that.  I got baptized, received the holy spirit and joined the choir!  Everyone had one goal in mind and that was to minister through song to the glory of God.  What did that look like?  Well, you had to remember the lyrics and your individual part, but most importantly you had to watch the director!  The director had the responsibility of navigating through the song and was given the liberty, if the spirit led them, to switch up the order from the way we rehearsed.  This unpredictability kept us on our toes.  No one wanted to be the one to mess up or jeopardize the delivery of the song because they weren't paying attention.  It was that serious.

7...AM?

I recently decided to join the choir at my church in Chicago.  I attended rehearsal and thankfully picked up the songs quite easily.  At the close of rehearsal the Minister of Music reminded us we were scheduled to sing Sunday and the call time was (everyone chimed in) 7 AM.  I gasped.  But service starts at 10!  In all my days of singing I'd never heard of waking up before the sun in preparation for a service that started mid-morning.  I contemplated waiting until the next Sunday to sing. (I needed to mentally prepare for a 6 AM wake up call!)  But what is ministry if it doesn't require sacrifice, right?  I went to bed at 11 the night before and woke up every 3 hours in fear of oversleeping.  At 5:58 I woke up in fear for the last time and determined I would just get dressed.  I hopped in a cab and arrived at church at 7:03.  I was proud.  In the sanctuary the praise team had already started the sound-check and many of the choir members were assembling in the pews.  I was inspired.

None of these choir members are on the payroll.  I am sure most of them have full-time jobs and families, but something pushes them to make it and to make it on time.  What is it?  Is it the coffee and pastries provided in the back?  Is it the warm smile from the Minister of Music?  I doubt it.  What pushes them is the same thing that once pushed me as a child.  It is the idea of being a contributing member of the body of Christ.  It is the satisfaction that comes along with leading others in worship without any strings attached.  It is fully committing to offer a sacrifice of praise that doesn't just look good to the human eye but to the eye of God.  It is the realization that God sees your every effort to please Him and understanding His reward is much greater than any reward given by man.

So should no one get paid?

As a recording artist, I know the importance of paid services.  There are actually few engagements I take without receiving some sort of honorarium.  This is due to my pursuit of becoming a full-time musician.  Since being a child, music has become more than a hobby, but a skill I have invested time and money to develop and perfect.  No one questions if an accountant or even a fitness instructor will receive pay for their work because we see them as professionals.  In that same way, professional singers and instrumentalists have an expectation of being compensated for their work.  So I don't knock the instrumentalists, preachers, and definitely not the janitorial staff, because their pursuit is of a different kind than that of a choir member.  As a choir member the intent is not to make a living, but to offer the gift of song as a sacrifice.  Although it requires time, energy, and skill, it's fulfilling in a way getting paid is not.  It is making a conscious decision to part from the way of this world that attaches a price tag to every service, and to devote time, energy, and skill in exchange of giving God glory.  For these reasons, I commend choir members.  Even without a paycheck their service is valuable and necessary.  And like them,  I believe all Christians should find something to offer the Lord that goes unrewarded by man.

{currently setting my clock for 6 AM every Sunday}

#walkthetalk

Sarah 

Testimonies Gone Wrong!

I want a testimony! 

Have you ever heard a testimony that didn't quite feel like a testimony?  One that started like "Back in the day, I did my thang!"  As a child, these testimonies would always confuse me.  They were often said in youth services by adults who seemed to both loathe and cherish their days before surrendering to Christ.  I remember one story being so excitedly told it was as if the person wanted to go back and relive those days.  Just like the others, I knew the story would soon shift.  Christ would suddenly, or slowly, change their hearts and save their soul, but that part paled in the light of the "YOLO" life they described initially.  

I have to admit, there was a part of me that wanted to experience that life; that "before Christ/after Christ" life.   Of course the adults would advise otherwise, but if they made it back to God, I could too, right?  I often told my parents "I want a testimony!" (read: "I want to live crazy and survive so I can tell an exciting story about it!")   My parents would then remind me of the myriad car accidents I'd survived and how the greatest testimony is to simply be saved, but in my mind that wasn't enough. I wanted a testimony like the ones I'd heard.  One with spontaneity, risks, and ignorant bliss.  I was the product of testimonies gone wrong.

If You Gone Tell it, Tell it Right (not necessarily all)

The purpose of testimonies are pretty clear.  They're how many of us realized we were not exempt from God's love.  They not only confirm the power of God to save sinners, but connects us all as children of God.  No matter your upbringing or pedigree, once lost and now found, is either your past or your potential future.  Testimonies essentially pat listeners on the back and say "If God did it for me, He can do it for you."  So what's the problem?  The problem is delivery.  There is a way to deliver a testimony that glorifies God, making Him the main attraction, and then there's a way to deliver a testimony that glorifies everything but God.  This is important to get right because it could either lead someone to Christ or right back from where they came. 

The way to avoid the latter is to tell the WHOLE story.  Not necessarily the gory details, but the whole story regarding your internal transformation.  Telling the fullness of what you experienced internally requires you to convey the brokenness of your before just as passionately as the healing of your after.  It is being transparent about how the spontaneity, the risk, and ignorant bliss affected you and still affects you.   It's not to focus solely on the look of sin but the sociological and spiritual penalty of sin.  When this is accomplished, the listener is able to relate, not only to a specific situation, but to your despair; not just to that particular sin, but to the burden of sin.  Testimonies have been most affective in my life when they were told fully.  This is how I pray my testimonies are received in this blog.  I may never get to testify about anything shocking like selling drugs or going to jail, but what I can say is I was born as a sinner and sin confused my mind.  Due to disobedience my heart was once broken, which led to more disobedience and alienation from the presence of God.  I am still not where I want to be but because of God's grace I'm right where I'm supposed to be;  benefiting from having a relationship with God and renewing my commitment to Him daily.  This is my testimony. (If you want more of my testimony check out my previous blogs.) 

#walkthetalk

Sarah

My Favorite Part About SEX!

My favorite part about sex is when it's over...yea I said it.  (keep reading!) 

Pre- Marriage

I've always had a love/hate relationship with sex (or sexual activity).  I loved the feeling of bonding with someone.  I loved the spontaneity of a touch or a kiss.  I loved the idea of intimacy and closeness.  However, I hated the thoughts that would invade my mind at the most inopportune times.   Thoughts about going too far.  What even IS too far?  I hated when the shame started to creep in, knowing that moment of satisfaction would only lead to confusion.  But mostly,  I hated when it was over.  I'd be proud in one sense that I had the courage to stop before going farther, but convicted in another sense for treading so closely to the edge.  This double mind was the worst.  It distracted my study time.  It dampened my prayers and stifled my worship.

Finally I made a decision to stop.  Yep, just stop.  I decided to stop pretending I had the discipline to pull back before things went too far.  To stop giving in to my desires.  To stop kissing.  To stop touching.  To stop straddling the fence and to focus solely on maintaining a healthy relationship with the Lord.  I wanted to pray without needing to start with repentance.  I wanted to stop hoping that somehow God didn't know what happened the night before.  Sexual activity then became a foreign place.  I knew it wasn't inherently bad, it just wasn't for me at the time.  Kinda like giving a T-bone steak to a new born.  Not only does the baby not have teeth to tear through the meat, but their digestive system is not developed enough to process solid food.  I eventually admitted that although physical intimacy felt good, it wasn't intended for me to enjoy at that stage in my life. 

Post-Marriage

After a passionate night with my husband, I got up, headed to the shower and prepared breakfast.  Arriving at church right in time for praise and worship, I lifted my hands and sang in my loudest voice "Lord you are good and Your mercy endureth forever."  It was in that moment I realized my favorite part about sex is when it's over!  Some may be thinking 'oh it must not have been that great,' but my excitement had nothing to do with that.  It was the first time I was able to experience the height of intimacy with my husband immediately followed by the joy of intimacy with the Lord.  Never had I ever been able to freely express my sexuality and turn around and worship God without feeling hypocritical.  Never was I able to wake up with such mental clarity, after connecting so affectionately with a man.   God's design was finally apparent and the purpose of "I Kissed Kissing Goodbye" was finally being realized.  At the age of 28, it was one of the hardest decisions I ever made but one I would never regret. 

I have found that sex, in the confines of marriage, is the only way to have your cake and eat it too.  Yea, I know this is literally and metaphorically supposed to be impossible, but in what other world do you get to explore the height and depth of your sexuality and still go before the Lord without condemnation?  There are many people who believe you should do what you want and allow your body to be its own boss.   That way of living is not only dangerous, but is the surest way to build a wall of pride, disillusionment and shame between you and your creator.  He created us and therefore knows our desires and tendencies.  So please tell me, what advice does a mere man have that supersedes the teachings of Christ?  He tells us to flee from sexual immorality (I Corinthians 6) because it is the one sin that we commit against our own body.  It clouds our thoughts and leads us outside of the will of God.  Once I made my decision, the freedom of worship became sweeter than any kiss.  Guilt no longer had a place to dwell.  And now since sex is in the right context, I wake up every morning and go before the Lord boldly, knowing I am in right standing.  Now if that's not sweet love, I don't know what is! 

#walkthetalk

-Sarah

What the "Whitney" Biopic Taught Me

Yes, I was 1 of the 4.5 million people who watched the Whitney Houston biopic on Lifetime last Saturday.  Since then there have been many critiques of the movie, including how it marred Whitney's name and redeemed Bobby Brown's.  Some people say it should've been entitled "Bobby & Whitney's Love Story" while others say it should have been called "It's Not Bobby's Fault!"  Ha!  Well no matter how you feel about the movie I'm sure all 4.5 million of us can agree that Whitney Houston was depicted as a human being.  She was supernaturally talented but not supernatural.  She had a voice of an angel, but was no angel.  She was, in fact, like you and me. 

The movie started like it was the Part 2 of what aired a week or two before.  We missed her upbringing.  We missed her choir singing.  We missed her rise to fame.  We were, instead, immediately introduced to Whitney the superstar who casually smoked lines of cocaine.  After meeting Bobby Brown we saw her fear of commitment juxtaposed with her willingness to engage in the deepest form of intimacy.  After finally conceding and marrying Bobby Brown, despite her mother's disapproval, she was faced with what we all fear the most, betrayal.  Sex, drugs, and music seemed to be her only escape from the harsh reality, that even with fame, money, and love, the void she so longed to fill remained empty.

I never want to over spiritualize or oversimplify the complexities of life, however it has been made clear to me through the life of Whitney Houston, Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and countless others that there is a void in all of us that we desperately long to fill.  It is not gender specific.  It is not racially disproportionate.  It is not economically biased.  It is a God-given hunger for someone or something that cannot be contained (check out Ecclesiastes 3:11).  Something that cannot be bought or earned.  Something that can only be given.  Although perversion, drug use, and suicide is experienced everywhere it is always surprising to hear about it's prevalence in Hollywood because this is the one place where most people feel happiness and contentment is at it's peak.  Where money is not an object, friends come a dime a dozen, and prestige is commonplace what else could one need??

Young or old.  Poor or wealthy.  Everyone is granted at least one need.   Even if it's unacknowledged it is there and will squirm until it's filled.  The need is found internally.  It is often superficially filled by external things, but is only temporarily satisfied at best.  The only way to meet this need wholly is through an active relationship with our creator.  I say active because the relationship has to be alive and in motion.   It cannot be something that was only once declared or achieved, but something that is fed on a consistent basis to ensure its vitality (check out Isaiah 26:3) .  This relationship will make the difference when betrayal knocks on your door.  It will lift you when depression creeps under the doorpost.  It will encourage you when discouragement chases you.  Contrary to popular belief, it will not prevent downs but will keep you in perfect peace in the presence of them all!  How many more celebrities have to die?  How many more people have to be imprisoned? How many more substitutions do we have to try before realizing everything we need is wrapped up in Jesus Christ.  And the good news is, He's simply a prayer away.

#walkthetalk

-Sarah

...But A Preacher Told Me To Do It!

^{Imagine with me:}

^{God tells you, either audibly or by a strong undeniable leading, to tell someone in authority that they need to repent before God or they will be severely punished.  Would you consider it?  Well let's say you did.  You decide to confront the person but before you do, God speaks to you again and tells you to make sure you do not eat or drink and when you return home go a different way from which you came.  Would you agree?  Well let's say you did.  You confront the person and convince them of your reliability.  The person in authority, in utter shock, invites you out to eat, but of course because you remember what God said, you deny the invitation.  Hungrier than you've ever been, you start your journey home, just as God says, in another direction.  On your way home, a stranger stops you and tells you to join him at his house for a meal.  You immediately deny the invitation, remembering what God said, but you are pleasantly surprised to learn that this man is also a prophet and was told by an angel to invite you to his house for a delicious meal!  Would you go with him?} 

^{"God told me to tell you...", "The spirit of the Lord wants you to know...", "I can hear the Lord saying..." are all phrases that have been said to me.  Often by men and women of God who complete the phrase with a prophetic word.  By no means should these words be taken lightly, for they can truly lead to death or life, physically and/or spiritually.  But because of their lethality, these words should always be tested by what God has ALREADY said.  I remember the day someone told me to marry a former boyfriend because they had a dream I would get pregnant out of wedlock.  After the initial shock of what the person said, I knew this was not a word from God to get married, but a word from God to remain pure before Him.  At that point in my life, God had not spoken to me concerning marriage.  He had not given me peace about the future of the relationship I was in, so to take that word as the voice of God leading me would have been detrimental to my life.  However, God had been speaking to me about purity.  He had been convicting me about maintaining my chastity, and therefore that prophecy, as well-intended as it was, was not for me to obey.}

^{Yes! God speaks through prophecy.  But he also speaks through the Word.  He speaks through life circumstances.  He speaks through peace.  He speaks through Godly counsel.  He speaks through the Holy Spirit.  He speaks through confirmation and through any vessel He chooses (click here to check out the book "Seven Keys to Hearing God's Voice" by Craig Von Buseck).  So if you're wondering if what you've heard is from God, take what you've heard through the filters stated above and if they don't pan out, you've got your answer.  God may not use all the keys every time He speaks, but one should never be in conflict with the others.  When and if this happens stand still!  God grants each of us a relationship with Him and holds us accountable to know Him for ourselves.  Although He ordains spiritual and religious leaders, they are never to take the place of our personal relationship with the Lord.  God speaks.  Not just to a few, but to all who have an ear to hear.}

^{So the situation outlined in the first paragraph is actually one that is found in I Kings 13.  Unfortunately, the man of God who confronted King Jeroboam obliged the lying prophet, followed him to his house and ate a meal.  He paid a lofty price for disobedience, and God even allowed the lying prophet to scold him.  Read the story and let me know your thoughts.  Sometimes God's ways seem harsh, but He's always just and always equips us with everything we need to succeed.  Follow God not man.} 

^{"An ignorance of an hour in your life will cause a divine purpose to be delayed or even aborted." - Dr. John Tetsola}

^#walkthetalk

^-Sarah

3 Steps to Making Your New Year's Resolutions Come True

Some say they are a waste of time.  'If you want to change you can determine to change any day of the year.'  Some say they are often unrealistic and consequently set you up for failure.  Some even say we should retire the word "resolution" and instead call them goals or plans to lessen the pressure of succeeding.  No matter how you feel about New Year's resolutions, they are here to stay.  Why? Because everyone loves the idea of progress.  We hunger for it and if we can find a good starting point to ensure it, we are sold.  So why the bad rap?  New Year's resolutions are frowned upon because many of us fail to implement a plan for success.  We write our resolutions down and after about 5 months we are no closer to completion than when the year started.   

My previous blog lists my New Year's resolutions (click here), but listing is not enough.  Now I will share 3 steps to ensure I reach my goals.  Yes, failure is still a possibility, but if I fail it will not be because I failed to plan, rather a learning experience that informs my future. 

1. Develop Habits that Align with Each Resolution

Sometimes resolutions can be very lofty and immeasurable.  This makes the resolution hard to manage.  For instance, (5) Hope Higher (from my blog post 7 Resolutions for the Year).  How can I measure my success?  My dad always says 'if you can't measure it, you can't manage it.'  And management is the basis of success.  The key is to establish at least one measurable habit that is associated with hope.  In this case my habit will be to create a vision board with all my greatest hopes and pray once a week simply thanking God for what's to come.  This can be measured.  Did I or did I not create the vision board of hope?  Did I or did I not pray weekly in gratitude?  If I did, then I have been successful.  If I did not then I have not been successful.  Other resolutions, like (1) Persistently Pray and (4) Live long (and Strong), are a little easier to create habits around.  Praying each morning for at least half an hour or going to the gym 3 times a weeks are examples, respectively. 

2. Set Benchmarks to Measure Success

One of my worst nightmares is to get to December 2015, find an old notebook with my New Year's resolutions listed, and realize I haven't even come close to reaching my goals.  One way around that disappointment is to set benchmarks to measure how far I've come.  So I've decided to schedule 4 alarms in my phone.  One in March (representing the 1st quarter of the year), one in June (representing the 2nd quarter of the year), one in September (representing the 3rd quarter of the year) and one in December (representing the 4th quarter of the year and the year at large).  Once the alarm sounds, I will take note of my successes and failures.  The results from first quarter will be the benchmark for the rest of the year.  So take (2) Manage Each Moment, let's say in March I notice that my predetermined Sabbath days (where I do absolutely nothing) were only honored half the time, my goal will then be to honor more than half next quarter.  Or take (3) Minimalistic Mindset, let's say in March I notice my Savings goal was not reached by a deficit of $250 dollars, I will then pursue coming within $250 of my goal by June.

3. Get a Buddy 

"Integrity is who you are when no one is watching.''  That quote always humbles me, because I know when someone is watching me I am much more intentional about doing the right thing.  I believe this is why God wants us to live in community.  We are not designed to live this life alone.  Of course if this is your fate, He still empowers you to live right; so there's no excuse.  Having a partner, however, who is on the same page, always helps.  When you're tired they encourage you to keep moving and you do the same for them.  That is why it is imperative to find someone you trust to hold you accountable for reaching your goals.  Thankfully I have my husband.  Whoo! Whoo! Who constantly, sometimes to my annoyance, reminds me of goals I've set.  When I start to do something that contradicts what I've said, he's there to encourage me to stay the course.  So for (6) Build my Back, I will give him permission to remind me that nothing worth having comes easy.  With that reminder my complaints should decrease over time.  Or for (7) Consistently Connect, I plan to schedule time with each of my friends, so that we will intentionally maintain our friendship.  The time will be mutually agreed upon and we will each commit to talk or meet up as a way to stay connected.

I hope you are as pumped about the new year as I am.  If not, remember that God has great plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11).  His thoughts about you out number the grains of sand (Psalm 139:17-18).  Now that's breathtaking!  He's done His part, in that He has placed in you a measure of faith which consists of gifts, passion, and desire (Romans 12:3).  You now have to do your part and chase after Him (James 2:17).  In Him you will experience hardship but also successes and victories all for His glory.  Never give Up!

-walkthetalk

Sarah

7 Resolutions for the New Year

The dawn of a new year brings about a brand new reason to get some things in our lives order.  We call these things resolutions.  Although for some people resolutions can be more daunting than inspiring, for others it’s just what the doctor ordered.  Here are the habits I plan to adopt starting January 2015:

I plan to...
1. Persistently Pray - Time with the Lord must be planned.  It doesn’t just happen.  Someone once said when you fail to pray you fail to involve God in your day.  I intend to start each day with an invitation addressed to God; giving him full permission to lead and guide my footsteps.  My prayer life has grown quite a bit in the last few years, but this year I want an even deeper commitment to pray, reflect, and listen.  The discipline that this requires is definitely a challenge, but I’ll start with scheduling the time, getting a pen and paper, and opening The Good Book.

2. Manage Each Moment -  I remember someone once told me how much they regretted watching a particular movie, because they would never get those two hours back.  I thought about their reasoning and even though it seemed extreme, it was in fact very true. Every moment lived is a moment that can never be lived again. So I intend to spend my time wisely.  We all know finding time to work is important, but making time to play (rest) is equally important.  And each should be done with great intention.

3. Maintain a Minimalistic Mindset - I recently told my sister about the two women living inside of me. (I’m only joking...kinda lol)  One loves to save money.  She thinks she has enough and needs nothing more.  But then there’s the other one that wants to go SHOPPING!  She loves stuff and doesn’t believe she can ever have enough.  I fight with each of them from time to time, but in my heart of hearts I am most like the first woman.  I fully believe the only thing wrong with wanting more is that it’s never enough.  So in 2015, I intend to be thankful and to control my impulsive nature by making financial goals and by taking on the challenge to creatively use what I already have.

4. Live Long (and Strong) - One thing money can’t buy is the feeling of accomplishment after climbing 14 flights of stairs (I literally had to do that once, when the elevators were down in my apartment building), the satisfaction of running a mile in record time, or the relief of leaving the doctor’s office with a good report.  There’s no use in having money if you’re not around to spend it.  Your health is your wealth.  So I intend to manage my health by scheduling time to exercise weekly and committing to a daily diet that includes vegetables, fruits, and grains. 

5. Hope Higher - “You have not because you ask not.”  What more needs to be said?  Little hope produces little results.  So I intend to hope BIG, ask BIG, and in turn experience GREATNESS.  Greatness in my finances, greatness for my family, and greatness in my home. I do believe God is able to do literally anything but fail. I intend to see His fingerprints in every area of my life.

6. Build my Back - There’s a prayer I once heard that ended with ‘instead of asking God to remove the mountain ask Him to strengthen your back for the climb.‘   I am no longer interested in an easy life.  Ease will never produce greatness; it only breeds apathy.  I intend to pursue the strength it takes to endure the storms of life and be able to tell the story of how I got over.  Nothing worth having ever comes easy, so looking for ease is now a thing of the past.  (I have a feeling this is going to be an easier said than done resolution.) 

7. Consistently Connect - My dad always says there are two things in life that will change you: good books and good people.  In 2015 I intend to surround myself with good people.  In times past, I became so busy doing things that seemed important I failed to establish and/or maintain relationships with good people, abandoning the accompanying benefits. And it’s not just about becoming at beneficiary but becoming a good person someone else can benefit from.  Friends are so often underrated, next year I want to invest more and reap more in this area.

-walkthetalk in 2015
-sarah